Poker Face 8:51 PM

I've been travelling a lot over the last three weeks, but wanted to quickly post something that I find entertaining. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't spend much time in the dance club, and thus I don't pay much attention to current pop hits, especially ones with annoying lyrics sung by hermaphrodites. Thus, I am not a big Lady Gaga fan, but I found a cover that I think is amazing. Check out Chris Daughtry's version where he completely does a "Chasing Amy" to this song.

This is awesome and shows why he should have won AI; although it may not be as awesome as Christopher Walken's version.

Sexy Time Tunes 11:46 PM

I listen to a lot of music on the ipod on my way to and from work and this summer I really got into soul music. This is pretty far out of my typical playlist, but I really dig it. So listening on the way to work the other day got me thinking of my top songs for getting it on. I know that I have mentioned previously that Devo was the First Lady and I's preferred music for late nights, but this time I'm serious. So without further ado, here are my top three songs for getting it on. (Why three? Because that's all the time I need.)

Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye

These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding

That's Where It's At by Sam Cooke

The worst song ever for sexy time?

Don't Know Why by Norah Jones

(No one needs that kind of pressure.)

What do you think? Did I miss any?

A little side note, all of these men died early (two of them were shot to death the other died in a plane crash). You may want to add Usher, Justin Timberberlake, D'Angelo or John Mayer to your celebrity death pools this year.

Night Night 8:17 PM

Is it sad that the only song I know to sing to my daughter to get her to bed is "Blue Shadows" as performed by Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms and Ned Nederlander? I learned all of my parenting skills from Lorne Michaels.

YouTube of the Week 7:41 PM

Here is my favorite new local commercial. All local commercials should be this honest.

Best Birthday Ever 4:16 AM

So The First Lady let out the secret that I just had another birthday; she always tries to make it a special day, but birthdays always seem to fall a little flat. I pondered this year what would be the ultimate birthday and here it is:

8:00

Wake Up to a nice "First Lady Massage".

8:05-845

Sweet, sweet lovin.

8:45

Play with kid until bored.

9:00

Bored with kid, hand her off to First Lady.

9:01-9:30

Breakfast delivered by burrito wagon to my house, eat breakfast burritos.

9:30-9:45

Get dressed.

9:45

Give kid to In-Laws as private helicopter picks up First Lady and I to go to airport.

10:00

Make quick side trip to defecate out of helicopter on Al Franken's house.

10:15

Arrive at airport and get on private plane flown by pilot "Sully" Sullenberg to fly to NYC; Sully tells me I'm "The most manly man he's ever met".

10:45-11:30

Join Mile High Club.

12:00

Arrive in NYC.

12:01-12:30

Car service to the city with a drive through Brooklyn throwing canned meat at Hipsters.

12:30-1:15

Eat lunch at Shake Shack after punching every investment banker in the face in line in front of me.

1:15-1:30

Drive by ABC studios in time to watch it catch fire, watch as entire cast of The View runs out of studio on fire, watch with glee as each dies a slow painful death.

1:30-2:30

Head to United Nations and begin punching diplomats from other countries, find Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinijad and Kim Jong Il. Drown Chavez in a vat of oil, kill Ahmadinijad through forced Mike Tyson prison rape, and kick Kim so hard in the balls he dies in a puddle of his own blood and piss.

2:30-3:00

Receive ticker tape parade down 42nd Street with women throwing underwear at me while men applaud and feel self loathing because they're not as awesome as me

3:00-4:00

All the excitement has made the First Lady pretty excited, she takes me to Central Park and does terrible, terrible things to me in the middle of the Great Lawn while a large crowd watches.

4:00-4:05

Everyone in the city enjoys a cigarette after such passionate love making.

4:05-4:20

Take helicopter to new Yankee Stadium, drop a deuce on Barbara Streisand's apartment from the air.

4:20-5:00

Watch beginning of day game against the Twins, Twins score 45 runs in the first inning; Sabathia, Chamberlain, Texeira and Damon all have massive heart attacks and die, Jeter craps his pants and A-Rod takes a line drive to the vagina and cries. Steinbrenner lights himself on fire and stadium burns to the ground with only Twin's fans and team escaping.

5:00-5:20

Helicopter ride back into city, spend flight shooting homeless people from the air.

5:20-5:50

Early dinner at Per Se, order a panda steak with Galapagos tortoise egg soup, dinner is mediocre, tell chef I didn't enjoy it before slapping him.

5:50-7:00

Eat real meal at Bother Jimmy's on Upper-East Side, gorge on brisket then set new record on Buck Hunter game, receive standing ovation.

7:00-7:20

Helicopter flight back to airport.

7:20-8:00

Renew membership in Mile High Club.

8:00-10:00

Arrive at secret island off the coast of South Carolina where celebrities who faked their deaths live and miraculously don't age. Watch Tupac open for Nirvana as Marilyn Monroe serves drinks topless.

10:00-11:00

Hit the poker table against Doc Holiday, John Wayne, Hemingway, George Carlin, Marquis de Sade, Da Vinci, Ghandi, Johnny Cash and Ty Cobb, take everyone's money, Ghandi accuses me of cheating and I slap him on both cheeks.

11:00-12:00

Take private plane and helicopter rides home, renew membership one last time for good measure.

12:01

Kiss The Kid in her crib and pass out in my own bed.

YouTube of the Week 6:30 PM

Your next installment. This is by far one of my favorite videos I have ever seen; it is short, effective, slightly intimate, has a moment of suspense and a surprise ending. I could watch this over and over for days.

YouTube of the Week 6:30 PM

Here's the latest installment of YouTube of the Week. When I first saw this video I took every item out of my recycling bin and threw it in my garbage and it made me feel a little better.

Now where's that exploding head gif when I need it?