The Beginning of the End

I've been cramping "The First Lady's" blog for some time with my random ramblings, phallic humor and embarrassing stories, so I decided to launch my own blog. I plan on being an active blogger on here since I don't have another team member to pick up my slack. I realize that most of the people who read this blog are people whose own blogs are used to keep up with family and friends or as a journal to be kept for posterity. This is not one of those blogs. As a matter of fact, I kind of hope my posterity never sees this.


Why I blog.
If you've read any of my past blog posts here, you've probably noticed that I write with a sick lack of self awareness. I blog to entertain. Occasionally I post something that is just for me, but usually I write so that others can be entertained. Ask Mel and she will tell you that I am a huge attention whore constantly checking the traffic counter and seeing if anyone left a comment after I post something. I hope that you enjoy this new adventure. I will try to be entertaining, offensive and brutally honest in this blog, so please enjoy and leave a comment every once in a while.


What you can expect.
Nothing, what do you think this is Burger King. The plan is for this little site to be a place for my random thoughts, dirty jokes, stories from my youth, political rants, favorite links, my views on modern entertainment and pictures of my belly. This will not be a journal or quick little updates about my life. I suck at Facebook and I don't tweet because I don't think anyone really cares about my most recent bowel movement or what I thought about So You Think You Can Dance. I would love to write a little about work, but regulations will probably keep me from doing so.


Why you should come back.
If you've ever been aroused by an auto accident, blown something up, tortured animals, laughed at a dirty joke, eaten a whole bag of Cheetos in one sitting or embarrassed your family and friends in a very public forum then you will probably be an avid reader of this blog (there's even a follower tool on the sidebar). I don't promise to update regularly, be funny or try to make sense, but I will try to be entertaining. So please, update your reader and come give the old caveman a little love every once in a while.